Victims of domestic violence and predicting who may become an abuser and/or batterer
Domestic violence, abuse and battering should
not, and does not, need to happen.
THE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
While the first half of this page is comprised mostly of statistics, I believe the information is important enough to be included on this site and should be read by all. Also of great importance is predicting who may become an abuser and/or batterer on the lower half of this page. Please read the entire page so you won't miss any information that could assist you in avoiding becoming trapped in a violent relationship.
Every fifteen (15) seconds the crime of domestic violence, abuse and battering occurs. Women living in rural and urban areas are affected. Women of all economic, educational, ethnic and religious backgrounds are affected. Women of all ages, lifestyles and physical abilities can also be affected. There is no such thing as a “typical woman” when it comes to being a victim of domestic violence, abuse or battering. All women are at risk simply because they were born female.
DID YOU KNOW THAT:
- More than 50% of child abductions result from domestic violence. (Geoffery Grief and Rebecca Hagar, “Abduction of Children by Their Parents: A Survey of the Problem”, Social Work, 1991)
Approximately 1 out of every 25 elderly persons is victimized annually. (Candace Heisler, “Journal of Elder Abuse and Neglect”, 1991)
22% to 35% of women who visit emergency rooms are there for injuries related to on-going abuse. (“Journal of the American Medical Association”, 1990)
Up to 50% of all homeless women and children in this country are fleeing from domestic violence. (Elizabeth Schneider, “Legal Reform Efforts for Battered Women”, 1990)
5% to 25% of pregnant women are battered, (Evan Stark and Anne Flitcraft, 1992)
One out of every four gay couples (25%) experience domestic violence in their relationship. That is approximately the same rate as heterosexual couples. (“Family Violence Prevention Fund”, 1996)
A study of violence among dating couples of high school age found that 12% had experienced abuse in one of their relationships. (Nona O”Keefe, Karen Brockoff, Esther Chew, “Teen Dating Violence”, Social Work, November/December 1986)
Sexual abuse against disabled girls and women is roughly twice as high as for non-disabled girls and women. Considering that 33% of American women experience domestic violence, a conservative estimate says that at lest 60% of disabled women have experienced it. (“New Mobility Magazine”, 1995)
In 1994, 28% of the 4,739 women who were murdered were slain by a husband or boyfriend. (FBI)
According to the U.S. Department of Justice, over two-thirds of the female victims of violence documented in 1993 were related to or knew their attacker.
A 1992 study of family and intimate assaults reported in the “Journal of the American Medical Association, found that family and intimate assaults involving firearms are twelve (12) times more likely to result in death than all non-firearm family and intimate assaults.
A 1993 study in the “New England Journal of Family Medicine” revealed that homes experiencing domestic violence were close to five times more likely to be the scene of a homicide than other homes. It also reported that a handgun in the home is 43 times more likely to kill a family member or an acquaintance than an intruder is.
The “Bureau of Justice” reports that although divorced and separated women comprise only 7% of the population in the U.S., they account for 75% of all battered women and report being assaulted fourteen times more often than women still living with a partner.
Do you fall within the above statistics? Have you experienced domestic violence, abuse or battering in any form? If so, please begin the necessary steps to get out and stay out of a bad relationship. Don’t put it off because you could end up dead.
PREDICTING WHO MAY BECOME ABUSERS AND/OR BATTERERS
Many signs may occur before the actual abuse or battering begins. Read the following list of signs. Get yourself a pen or pencil and some paper. Ask yourself the questions and answer them. Be sure you write your answers on the paper so you can review them. You may find clues that you are heading towards living in a relationship filled with domestic violence.
- Did he grow up in a family that used violence as a control factor? Growing up in a violent family where the children were abused or one parent was beaten regularly may have led him to believe that violence is normal behavior.
- Does he have a tendency to use force or violence to solve his problems? Does he have a criminal record for violence? Does he get into fights now or did he in his younger years? Does he like to act tough? If so he may act the same way with his wife and children.
- Does he have a quick temper? Does he tend to over-react to little problems or frustrations? Is he now or was he ever cruel to animals? When he gets upset does he do things like punch the wall or throw things? If he posses any of these behavior patterns he may be a person who will work out what he sees as problems with violence.
- Is he or was he ever an abuser of alcohol or drugs? Strong links between violence and abuse of alcohol and drugs have been documented. Watch for signs of possible drinking and drug use problems. Be especially on the alert if he refuses to admit he has a problem or refuses to get help. Do not ever believe that you can change him.
- Does he have strong beliefs about what a man should be and what a woman should be? Does he believe that a woman’s place is to stay home? Does he believe that a woman’s job is to take care of her husband? Does he believe that a woman should follow his wishes and take orders from him?
- Is he jealous of the relationships you have with other men you know, your family or other female friends? Does he keep tabs on your comings and goings? Do you have to tell him where you are all of the time? Does he want you to be with him all of the time?
- Does he own or have access to lethal weapons such as guns and knives? Has he ever threatened to use them on other people? Does he talk about getting even with people?
- Does he expect or demand that you follow his orders or take his advice? If you don’t fulfill his wishes or anticipate his needs does he become angry?
- Does he have periods of extreme highs and lows? Do you sometime think you are living with two different people? Is he ever extremely kind some of the time and extremely cruel at other times?
- Do you fear him when he gets angry? Has a major part of your life become trying to not make him angry? Instead of doing things you’d rather do, do you find yourself doing whatever he wants to do?
- Has he ever treated you roughly? Has he ever used physical force to make you do things you didn’t want to do?
Were you happy with your answers? Did you find any clues that you may be heading for domestic violence? If you did, begin making your plans to get out and stay out. If you put it off you may end up dead.
FOLLOW THESE LINKS TO NAVIGATE MY SITE
WHY MEN ABUSE WOMEN AND
WHY WOMEN DON'T LEAVE
AN IMPORTANT CHECKLIST AND
WORKPLACE GUIDELINES AND
GETTING LEGAL HELP
RESOURCE AND HELP LINKS
BACK to DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
CLICK HERE to visit my personal web pages that include my stories on being kidnapped at age four, my abusive marriage titled "Living Lies", my poetry, plus a little lagniappe.
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Sherry Romero December 2001.
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